


Insecurities

by echoflowertea



Series: Living [15]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Polyamory, Reader Is Not Frisk, because why wouldn't it, friendly reminder that reader is fat, in case any of you forgot, reader is female, things get a little weird
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-14
Updated: 2016-06-14
Packaged: 2018-07-14 17:27:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7183304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/echoflowertea/pseuds/echoflowertea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You have issues with your body. Your boyfriends don't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Insecurities

**Author's Note:**

> i update this series **tuesdays and fridays**!

You stood in front of the dressing room and grabbed the extra flesh that hung on your body.

Uuugggghhhh. Today was gonna be one of those days. You’d come out just to buy some new threads for the weather cooling down, but nothing seemed to fit. It didn’t help that you were alone this time around, so you had a lot more negative self-talk going on. The fluorescent lighting, giggling girls in the rooms around you, and the constricting top you tried to wiggle over your chest was enough to set you off.

Leaving stores empty-handed was a common thing. It wasn’t like you went in telling yourself you wouldn’t find anything worth it. At least, not any more. But some days your body image was better than others. And it seemed like everything you tried on was just a huge disappointment waiting to rear its ugly head at you. What the hell did you ever do to deserve this?

You plopped down on the chair facing the mirror and cringed. Ugh. Look at that. Dips and divots in your flesh, sagging spots, age-old scars from puberty, discoloration and puckering along your stomach. Yikes.

You made eye contact with yourself and started picking out your flaws there, too. Hair, nose, mouth, whatever. Just critical enough where your inward commentary started to sting. You tore your gaze away and let out an exasperated sigh. They should really have put screaming pillows into these places for everyone to utilize.

You managed to squeeze back into the outfit you came into, not daring another glance at yourself. You felt bad, but you left all the clothes you brought in where they sat. Hanging accusingly in the room and mocking your inability to stretch them up over your hips and gut. It was just way too embarrassing to dump the entire pile on the attendant waiting outside the door. Coming out empty-handed made you feel a little better.

In a fit of self-loathing, you cured your anger by the thing you did best.

You sat at the snack bar and sipped away at the cold slushie. Narrowing your eyes at anyone that went past and even so much as looked at you. Keep walking, dude.

 **The Great and Adorable Papyrus <3**: HAVE YOU NOT RECEIVED MY MESSAGES?

You scrolled backwards. Whoops. You must’ve missed them when you were shopping. The gist of it was him talking about how much he wanted to see you. He was out of town until tonight, and apparently a few days without visiting with you in person was torture. You had to admit, you felt the same. Life with him was so much more fun than life without.

The most recent message was of him asking for a selfie. Really, Papyrus? Of all days? You would’ve been content to find some great lighting that made you look halfway decent, but not when you were trying so hard not to cry.

 **MY SUPER CUTE GIRLFRIEND** : idk paps i’m just not feeling very well today.

 **The Great and Adorable Papyrus <3**: WHAT? ARE YOU GETTING SICK????

 **MY SUPER CUTE GIRLFRIEND** : no nothing like that. um i can send you some old pics from my gallery if you want?

 **The Great and Adorable Papyrus <3**: UNACCEPTABLE??? I HAVE ALL OF THOSE SAVED ALREADY. I NEED TO SEE YOU HOW YOU ARE NOW.

You sighed and slumped in your seat. Instead of giving him a response, you locked your phone and shoved it in your pocket. You ignored the buzzing as he continued to text you in a rapid fire of responses. You felt like a huge dick for this, but if he had plenty of pictures, he really didn’t need another one at this very second.

You drove home in a bad mood. You parked in a bad mood. Walked all the way up the stairs with your steps as heavy as you could make them, dragging your feet along the concrete. You would just get dressed in pajamas, because THOSE would sure as hell fit, and then lie down on the couch for a few hours until you felt better enough to act like a normal human being.

You stepped inside your apartment and nearly had a heart attack.

“Sans, what are you doing in here?”

“let myself in.” He grinned at you from the couch. “take a load off, babe.”

“I gave you that key for emergencies. Not so you could stalk me.” You weren’t actually complaining. Seeing him did make you feel a little better, even with how gross you felt on the outside. “Did Papyrus text you?”

“yep.”

You knew it. After you stopped answering your messages, you knew there was a chance that he would panic and sic Sans after you. The both of them never spoke much about your relationships together, only because that was crossing a line. But if Paps was sure there was something wrong, he was going to make his brother check up on you.

“Ugh. I’m fine. I’m just having a bad day.”

“yeah, i figured.” He shifted in his seat, angling his body to face you. “wanna talk about it?”

You faltered. Your hangups were something you were really not comfortable in telling to other people, but he was your boyfriend. “I guess. I mean, it’s gonna sound stupid.”

“nah. go ahead, lay it on me.”

You slumped down next to him and sighed. “So. Um. Are you…attracted to me? Like, physically?”

Sans was completely silent for a long while. Enough that you thought maybe he hadn’t heard you.

“I mean. My body is…not like other humans. It’s not really…I don’t want to say not normal, because that’s not true. But it doesn’t look the way it’s supposed to. I’m really fat, Sans. And not like in a totally condescending, self-deprecating way. It’s just the facts. And the way I look…most people who are into it are considered fetishists. Because it’s going against what other people have said is okay. I don’t even like myself all that much, I mean today was a prime example. I went shopping for clothes and nothing fit. And I’m sitting here wondering how someone like you could ever be into this. Romantically, I might understand, but actual, physical attraction? It seems impossible.”

He still didn’t say a damn word.

“I told you. It’s just my insecurities, I get that, but…”

He stopped you with a hand hovering in your face. You swallowed when you realized how downright pained his expression was. Something you’d only ever seen when you spoke about things that happened Underground.

“you really feel that way about yourself?”

“Yeah. I guess I do.”

“damn. that’s, uh…” Really fucked up? Yeah, you knew that. “that hurts me a lot, babe. you’re kinda killin’ me here.”

You groaned. “I’m _sorry_. That’s just how I feel.”

“it’s a real bummer. to think i haven’t been…obvious. to think that i haven’t been real clear on where things stand.”

Wait. What?

Sans asked permission to kiss you. Granted. It was long, slow, deep. Enough for it to send all your nerves tingling. He drew you in close and ran his hands down your sides, lingering over the rolls of flesh that you were so self-conscious about. Thumbing your skin and stretchmarks underneath your clothes, squeezing every last ounce he could fill his palms with.

“you’re real _sexy_ , babe.”

You broke away from him like you’d been burned. “What?”

“i could do this for hours. kissin’ and touchin’ you.” He pulled you even closer so you were practically on his lap. You didn’t want to crush him, so you tried to fall back. He wasn’t having it.

You bit your lip. “You’re a monster and I’m human. We’re really different.”

“you seem to like me just fine, and i’m just an ol’ bag o’ bones.”

How dare he. “What the hell are you talking about? You’re amazing. I love every part about you.”

“nah. i’m no catch. short, big-boned. i got nothin’ redeeming about myself. i mean, there ain’t much on me to start with.”

“Now you’re just trying to piss me off. I’m super into this. All of it.” You kissed his cheekbone, then his neck, then the very top of his sternum. Giving affection was so much easier than receiving it. You knew it was just part of your touch aversion, but you really loved to be the one laying on the pleasure to anyone you were partnered up with. It was just as rewarding as it would’ve been if you were the one receiving it. “Stop.”

“you’re the amazing one. i’m just magic and dust. some humans think i’m real creepy. too short to stand out. i’m lazy, a slob, the list goes on.”

You kissed him midsentence to shut him up. He was frustrating you, now. “Don’t talk like that. Please?”

“how can you want this?”

“I just do. And I don’t wanna be gross. But trust me.”

He chuckled and took your hand, resting it on the warmest part of his ribs. “the feeling’s mutual. you aren’t a monster, so it’s harder to tell. but damn, the things you do to me…s’real hard to keep it together sometimes.”

Now you were embarrassed. You’d never thought you could…that someone else would…you shifted on his leg and purposefully grinded yourself there, relishing the small thrum of pleasure that snaked throughout your lower half. “You’re not just pulling my leg?”

“heh.” He ran his hand along your back, re-positoning you so you were straddling him now. “you think this is fake? all this?”

You weren’t sure what he meant at first. Him being a skeleton, there was no telltale sign of arousal pressed up against you. But there was definitely something. A feeling that pulsed from his pelvic bone and emanated from his entire body. It was hard to ignore it now that he put it out on the table. A SOUL that was trying its hardest not to reach out to yours, a dull, heady warmth that engulfed you both and sent a few beads of sweat at his temple. His chest rose up and down more rapidly, color dusting along his cheeks, fingers twitching as he stroked the curve of your spine.

Oh. Wow.

He was _super_ aroused. Like. You were. Not. Expecting that.

You lingered on top of him for a few more moments before you slid off. Now you were both uncomfortable. You squeezed your thighs together and he rested his arm over his face, doing his best to catch his breath and hide his overwhelmed expression.

“sorry.”

“No, I asked.” You had to get out of these clothes. Like five seconds ago. “I’m gonna go change.”

“good idea. i’m uh, gonna split, too. got some…stuff to take care of. my bro should be home in about an hour or so, gotta make sure the house is up to his standards…”

Yup. You were both feeling awkward as hell. Sans couldn’t leave the apartment fast enough, and you made your way to your room so you could find a clean pair of underwear to slip on. Fucking. Damn it. It had been a really, _really_ long time since you felt this way about someone. And it caught you off guard. How did most people even function like this?

You had other things to distract yourself. In a pair of semi-clean PJs and lounging on the couch, typing away at a response to a message and scrolling through your favorite sites. Online shopping. Anything to keep your mind of what just happened. It was a lot to process after such a long day.

You were in the middle of an episode on TV when the door slammed open. You almost choked on the piece of chocolate you had shoved in your mouth. Papyrus strode in like he was on a mission. He looked the part, too. Dressed head to toe in his formal bodyguard wear and a backpack slung over his shoulders. Did he just come here from the airport?

“DATEMATE.” He tromped over to where you sat and kneeled in front of you, shoving your coffee table out of the way. “I AM HERE TO EASE YOU FROM WHATEVER AILS YOU.”

Shit. You forgot all about the little tantrum you threw this morning. “I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you. I thought Sans—”

“HE EXPLAINED EVERYTHING IN GREAT DETAIL!!! HOW YOU WERE NOT FEELING LIKE YOURSELF TODAY. AND WERE WORRIED ABOUT HOW I COULD BE ATTRACTED TO YOU?”

Fucking. Sans. That big-mouthed, handsy, stupidly handsome skeleton!

Papyrus hunched over and looked absolutely miserable. Like he was about to…? Why was he…? He buried his face in his hands and flopped right down onto your lap.

“NYOO HOO HOO. I’VE FAILED YOU.”

“What are you talking about?!” You tried to reach for the tissue box and hand it to him, but he was so busy sniffling and sobbing he didn’t notice it. Not to mention his full weight basically had you trapped on the couch.

“HOW CAN I CALL MYSELF YOUR STRONG, HANDSOME BOYFRIEND IF I HAVEN’T DEMONSTRATED HOW MUCH I LIKE YOU???”

Oh, god. No. You weren’t doing this today, not twice in a row. You put your hands on the top of his skull and stroked it. “Papyrus. Stop. Let me explain.”

“YOU DON’T HAVE TO. I KNOW ALL ABOUT THE THINGS YOU SAID TO SANS. I’VE BEEN BLIND. ALL THIS TIME I THOUGHT MY ULTIMATE FEELINGS HAD REACHED YOU, BUT THEY DID NOT!!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EXPRESS HOW WARM AND WONDERFUL YOU MAKE ME FEEL?”

The neighbors were going to hear this if he kept going. You shushed him and tried to talk over his exclamations. He wasn’t hearing it and drowned you out completely.

“FOR THE LONGEST TIME I WAS AFRAID OF THE THINGS YOU DID TO ME. HOW GOOD IT FELT? I RESEARCHED FOR HOURS ON WHAT IT WAS AND FOUND OUT IT WAS CALLED ATTRACTION!!! I  COULD NOT STOP THINKING ABOUT ALL THE WAYS I WANTED TO HOLD AND TOUCH YOU.”

This was it. You were going to die of secondhand embarrassment. He literally did not have to confess this to you at the time of day when everyone was home from work and could eavesdrop.

“I HAVE BEEN SO ENAMORED BY YOUR BODY THAT I HAVEN’T BEEN ABLE TO VERBALIZE WHAT YOU DO TO ME. SOMETIMES I THINK ABOUT IT SO MUCH THAT I FORGET WHERE I AM.”

What??? You tried not to laugh at that one.

“AND THE OTHER DAY YOU WORE A DRESS AND THE SIGHT OF IT WAS SO INCREDIBLE THAT I DIDN’T DODGE UNDYNE’S GOOD-NATURED PUNCH AND SHE KNOCKED ME OUT COLD FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR.”

You remembered that. You’d wondered where he went and why Undyne was so panicked. You were just about to head inside to watch a musical and Papyrus was nowhere to be found. You hadn’t even noticed him come back in until the intermission. And the rest of the show he just kept trying not to fall asleep while Undyne slapped him awake. You thought it was just because he was bored, not because he had a minor concussion (???).

“YOU ARE SO SOFT AND WARM. IT’S WONDERFUL. YOUR HAIR ALWAYS SMELLS  LIKE A RAINBOW.”

“A rainbow?” you echoed, both touched and tickled at the same time.

“YES. EVERY PART OF YOU IS DESIRABLE. I ESPECIALLY LIKE THE GENTLE CURVES YOU HAVE. THEY REST SO WELL IN MY HANDS!!! YOU ARE A PERFECT FIT FOR ME. I HOPE IT IS THE SAME FOR YOU.”

“Of course it is. I love how tall you are. How you’re so strong and you just lift me up like it’s nothing. You have the most adorable smile and blush.”

“THOSE ARE…FLATTERING THINGS TO SAY, BUT I AM NOT FINISHED COMPLIMENTING YOU!” He peeked through his hands and you caught sight of the very thing you’d been expressing fondness for. “YOU ARE PERFECT THE WAY YOU ARE. AND I WOULD LIKE NOTHING MORE THAN TO BE WITH YOU FOR AS LONG AS YOU WILL HAVE ME!!! I KNOW THAT HUMANS ARE A BIT DIFFERENT FROM MONSTERS, BUT WE DO HAVE SOME THINGS IN COMMON.” He cleared his throat awkwardly. “I HAVE VERY MUCH WONDERED ABOUT YOU. ABOUT YOUR BODY AND…THINGS I HAVE RESEARCHED BECAUSE I AM VERY, VERY INTERESTED. IN YOU.”

You knew that he prided himself in closing the gap in his knowledge of humans versus monsters. But monsters were all about SOULs. With so many different kinds of bodies and anatomy, it just didn’t make sense that sexual drives would be a thing. And from what Sans mentioned before, he and Papyrus both had no clue what it felt like until you developed your relationship over the years. It was the same for you, but you just had a harder time believing it because they weren’t exactly…built for it.

“But Paps, it’s…I mean…we’re so different…”

“EVERYBODY IS UNIQUE IN THEIR OWN WAY. YOURS HAPPENS TO BE THE ONE I WANT.” He shifted. “DO YOU…PERHAPS…FEEL THE SAME?”

“I consider myself lucky every day that someone as attractive as you is interested.”

“OF COURSE I AM. NYEH…HEH…HEH…SO…UM…CAN WE CAN END THIS ON A MORE…AFFECTIONATE NOTE?”

He repositioned you on the couch, a high-pitched giggle bubbling in your throat when he covered you in skeleton kisses. It was a really comfortable weight, him on top and his arms pinning you below him. You stared up at him and his half-lidded expression was enough to send a pool of warmth in the pit of your belly. It didn’t help that he was incredibly generous with how much he laid on you, peppering every part of you with light, feathery pecks.

It was such a blur. He was so close. No space between you. Your stomach pressed up against his bones. Just enough pressure that you shifted and let out an airy laugh, giddy in the way he whispered your name.

“THE CUTEST HUMAN IN THE WORLD. AND SHE CHOSE ME. I AM VERY LUCKY. LOOK AT THIS BODY. TOO BEAUTIFUL FOR EVEN ME. SHE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW HOW CRAZY SHE MAKES ME!!!”

That feeling came back. Everything started to get hot and heavy, the air around you stifling. You could feel blood rush to your cheeks and neck. Papyrus looked just as flustered as you felt, his words of worship starting to slur as he kissed them into your skin. You could feel something pulse beneath his clothing, a dull thud that rang in the room and set a rhythm that your own heartbeat started to follow.

That was…

You spread your legs a little wider and he settled between them, pushing your thighs backward so he had more access to pressing his pelvis against yours. Papyrus grunted in surprise. He retreated from his onslaught just long enough for you to anchor him in place, hooking your knees into his hipbones.

He really…

“I AM…UM…”

You knew what he was getting at. And as good as things were going, this was a little much. It had gone from practically begging for words of encouragement into something you weren’t sure either of you were prepared for. Not yet, at least.

“I AM GOING TO THE BATHROOM TO COMPOSE MYSELF. THEN WE ARE CONSUMING THE ICE CREAM I BROUGHT TO CHEER YOU UP, AND…” He paused and his sockets blew wide in horror. “NOOOO!!! I FORGOT IT IN THE CAR!”

The thought of it melting all over his seats was enough for you to jump up in panic. “I’ll get the paper towels and trashbags. Meet you down there in five.”

“THANK YOU, DATEMATE. DON’T START WITHOUT ME!”

He rushed down the hallway to hop inside the bathroom, only to trip on your shoes near the hallway and fall flat on his face. You watched him struggle to pick himself up and made a move to help him. He immediately raised a hand to stop you from coming any closer.

“DON’T WORRY!!! I’M FINE, JUST GATHER THE SUPPLIES TO CLEAN THE MESS!” Another crash. “OH NO. OH NOOO, I THINK I JUST KNOCKED THE SINK OUT OF THE WALL. I-I’LL FIX THIS! LATER!”

Something licked at your ankles. “Papyrus, it’s starting to flood!!!”

“A LITTLE WATER NEVER HURT ANYONE??? WHERE ARE THE TOWELS?”

The door creaked open and Sans stopped in his tracks when he spotted both of you freaking the fuck out. “uh. wow. what’s goin’ on in here? babe…i didn’t know you were still… _wet_. i woulda come back a little later if i’d known.”

“SANS STOP MAKING LEWD JOKES AND BE USEFUL FOR ONCE!!! MOP THE CAR FROM THE ICE CREAM WHILE I SINK THE FIX!!!”

You let out a groan of disgust as the water seeped into your socks. Every move you made only contributed a sick squelch to the cacophony of sounds around you.

“heh heh, what? didn’t quite catch that, bro.”

“THIS IS THE WORST. I AM A HORRIBLE BOYFRIEND.”

How could he say that?! “No!!! You’re both perfect!”

“aw. thanks, babe.”

“DATEMATE, I WOULD SMOOCH YOU BUT I THINK WE HAVE FAR MORE PRESSING MATTERS TO ATTEND TO???”

Between the heartfelt confessions from the both of them and their not-so gentle reassurance, the woes of your morning were long since forgotten. And you had them to thank for it.

**Author's Note:**

> like my fics? **[consider donating](ko-fi.com/A258IM)** to support me!
> 
> **send me your comments! it brings a huge, dorky smile to my face!**
> 
> **question of the day** : name one thing the skelebros would love about you!


End file.
